OH MY GOD, I JUST REALIZED---- I'M NOT PERFECT!

Last weekend on a date with my husband, I was on my second double-vodkie-seltzer-with-lemon when out of the blue, I realized something that actually made me gasp. My husband choked on his coffee (yeah, he drinks coffee with dinner, and surprisingly, no-- he is not an octogenarian) and asked me what was wrong. I struggled to get the words out, awkwardly blurting:

I-, I'm-, I'm not perfect!


It was a big surprise to me. It occurred to me that before my weight gain, when I was still aware of myself, I was too aware. Nit-picking everything, I was my own three-way mirror. Take, for example, my chin, specifically my profile. I'd say I wish I had a picture of it, to show you, but I really don't. Growing up, I hated it. Hated, hated, hated. It's a weak chin-- the end of it goes directly to my neck, no prominence whatsoever, the dream of a long, swan-like neck impossible. Even as a kid, I knew it made me look weird, mongoloid, even. No boy could ever love me. 

And how sad is that, to focus so much energy on hating something you can't fix, or at least without a few thousand dollars and a dude in scrubs with a knife? Something that possibly no one ever actually notices? I mean, no one ever made fun of it, I was never teased or called No-Chin. But I couldn't stand it, and no matter how I tried, I couldn't wish or pray it away.


I've been enjoying all these freedoms that I never knew I could; freedom of the constant 3-way mirror, and except for weighing myself and analyzing my diet, freedom of constant judgements about myself. When I realized I wasn't perfect, I realized I don't need to be. I feel so good actually achieving what I can, why should I even let an aspect of my person, something in my DNA, bother me?

Once my mother smiled at me and said, "You have my chin!" not knowing how much I disliked it, and shamefully, in that moment,

I resented her for it. 

As a woman, I think there must be something very special to having a daughter; it's this person that you can mold and assist and cultivate, most especially because you can empathize specifically with her. As someone's child, I think if it's the best thing you do in life, you should be a better version of your parents. I love my parents, but I'm not going to raise my children the same way I was raised, and I don't expect my children to raise theirs the same way either. Your kids should be able to take from you a clearer vision of the world. After all, you're around them the most (hopefully), and you know them intimately (hopefully). 

Last night the hubby and I were talking about our kids (the ones we don't have yet, I mean), and I was saying something about having a daughter. My husband comes from a very good-looking family, and his sister's kids (two of them girls) are all adorable, strong, and intelligent. I said, "God, I just hope my daughter doesn't have my chin!" I hope my daughter, if I end up having one, is a better version of me. Or completely different version of me, the one I've only dreamed of being, say the cheerleader or the lawyer or the Best Knitter Ever. But I take it back. I hope she does have my chin, my mother's chin, her mother's chin, whoever-this-chin-belongs-to's chin. It's with me for a reason. We can never be perfect. And perfection doesn't sound fun anyway.

Easy Vegan Butternut Squash & Sweet Potato Soup

a pinch of what was fresh ginger, then grated and rolled like a super healthy tootsie roll and kept in my freezer looks like. Because who uses an entire root before it goes bad? (I RESPECT YOU IF YOU DOOOO)

 

it's cheating-- everything looks delicious when garnished with cinnamon sticks!!!

First and foremost, I feel the need to make a shout out to Vegan Lentil Soup from allrecipes.com (is it not one of the best sites ever??!), which inspired this considerably easier recipe. What I learned was, you don't need an immersion blender (it purees itself!)-- you just simmer it into OBLIVION! The squash and water alone create a wonderful base to which you can add savory (seriously, make that lentil soup!) or sweet (seriously, make this soup!) ingredients.

Soooooooooooooooooooooooooo every winter my wonderful restaurant gives a gallon of soup to The Peninsula School of Art of Door County. It's been clam chowder; a delicious concoction called "Country Black Bean" consisting of char-grilled pork chops, green pepper, corn, potatoes and black beans, and this year, my dear friends, I am honored to present you -and the people who attend the event- (vegan) (AND CREAMY!) Squash and Sweet Potato Bisque.

This is not an original (by which I mean: particularly creative) recipe. But it is SUPER EASY, and VEGAN! And hopefully it'll show up in a search engine (I can dream, can't I?)..

This recipe makes around 6-8 servings and takes around 90 minutes. 

You shall need:

- 2 medium butternut squash

-2 large sweet potatoes (shhhhh... you could use canned ones but they won't look anywhere as pretty and you'd better only use them if they're already in your cupboard)

- 1 can coconut milk (I used full-fat, but I don't want the meat-eaters to say it didn't hit the spot! You could probably sub lite coconut milk)

- 4-6 tablespoons Earth Balance (optional)
- 4-6 cups cold water

-ground or fresh ginger

- ground cinnamon

- a generous pinch kosher or sea salt

- crack black pepper

I used 2 medium-sized butternut squashes. Squashes? That seems wrong. Squash? (Like moose?!) It sounds brutal, but you're going to want to cut, gut, peel, and cube them. Please be careful. You could easily dismember yourself trying to trim a hearty squash of any kind; butternut is no exception. I used a serrated knife to cut, and chef's knife to chop/cube. Cut the squash, peel it (carefully-- they seem to relish flying gleefully into the trash can), and dice or cube into 1" chunks. We're looking for similar-sized pieces, as they will cook evenly. Whatever!

Once cubed, place in a 4-quart saucepan and pour enough cold water in pot to cover the pieces (I used 6 cups and it was just! enough, but more would have made for a watery bisque). Less is okay-- you can always add more. Put on medium heat and bring to a boil.

Once boiling, turn the heat down to low and and let it simmer away. It took my pot around 20 minutes to get to a boil, and after around 30 more minutes, it got all nice and mushy. I then added the coconut milk, and spices (see note) and let the mixture simmer for around 25 more minutes. 

When the squash was almost completely "pureed," I added my 2 peeled and diced sweet potatoes. They were al dente after around 10 minutes or so, but you can simmer then longer or shorter, depending on how big or small they are and done you want 'em.

AS FAR AS SEASONING GOES: You should really always season to taste until you know how you like things. This is a super subtle, but wonderfully satisfying soup. As I stated in the caption for the ginger, I grated and froze that shiznit, and what is pictured, I used twicefold. Fresh ginger would probably be a peeled ~1" chunk, grated, possibly less though!!. If you are using ground ginger, start with maybe a 1/2 tsp of ground ginger, and work in sprinkles from there. I did a sprinkle of cinnamon (maybe 1/4-1/2 t), a pretty healthy pinch of kosher salt (you'd be surprised at how much it needs it), and 1 healthy crack of black pepper. 

When the soup was done cooking, I folded in (or dunked in and kept stirring as the residual heat of the soup melted:) 4 tablespoons of Earth Balance, but you could use less, or none at all (or just garnish with a little slice of margarine and a drizzle of maple syrup or agave). Serve this with a nice leafy salad and some bread and call it a peasant's dinner. This soup also freezes quite nicely.