Going to Walmart is a surefire way to upset myself.

I seldom look at nutrition labels, because I avoid processed foods with the exception of grains, dried fruits, etc.; and I wish I could tell everyone in America, 

Stop looking at the nutrition facts. That tells you nothing. Look at the ingredients. 

because you can eat something that appears to have a good nutrient profile, for example, has low fat and low calories but has a lot of fiber or protein-- that has very little in terms of long-term sustainability. And I'm not talking Going Green, I'm talking about sustaining your body with nutrient rich, close-to-whole foods.

Case in point: Quaker has a type of instant oatmeal called Weight Control oatmeal. 

 

The label I looked at in Wally World told me that the Maple and Brown Sugar Weight Control Packet of Instant Oatmeal, which has a fine nutrient profile-- 2 grams of fat and 150 calories for a solid 6 grams of fiber and 6 grams of protein-- has NINETEEN INGREDIENTS. Nine. Teen. It did not, like this fancy French Canadian one, differentiate between the ingredients and the vitamins and minerals --which I'm assuming are added or they wouldn't be in the ingredient list-- and it would be twenty ingredients if we counted "Natural and Artificial Flavorings" as two separate ingredients (what the hell is up with that, anyway? Why don't they tell us what they are?!). So there you go. This is why I say, get up a little earlier and microwave your own plain oats, add your flaxseed, and whatever the hell else you want. Eat food as minimally processed as you can. IT WILL NOURISH YOU THIS WAY.

I don't know why I needed to save $1.40 so badly but I had bought the La Choy brand of soy sauce without checking the label. I guess since it has a Chinese character on the bottle I figured it was REAL FUCKING SOY SAUCE. Do you know what it is, ladies and gentlemen? Do you know what is in La Choy All Purpose Soy Sauce? 


Here is what is in La Choy All Purpose Soy Sauce:

Water
Salt
Hydrolyzed Soy Protein
Corn Syrup
Caramel Color
Potassium Sorbate (preservative)




Hmm. Do you see "fermented soybeans" or even the word "soybean"? The worst part is, some of us are so far removed from food that isn't from McDonald's to know that soy sauce is made with SOYBEANS. But that's what I get for buying something without looking at the label.


Now, I want to elaborate a little on my first statement.

1. I seldom look at labels, because I avoid processed foods with the exception of grains, dried fruits, etc., and also because I have the knowledge that whole foods and minimally processed foods are the foods that my body needs. One of the things that is important to learn when you're losing weight, when you're aiming to maintain a healthy diet, is to understand what your body needs when it needs it. That's why cabbage soup is surprisingly satisfying after a plateful of cookies, or why after eating like crap for a few days we start to crave fresh green salads with loads of veggies.


2. I wish I could tell everyone in America, 

Stop looking at the nutrition facts. That tells you nothing. Look at the ingredients.


We're so utterly, unfairly deceived by the food industry, and the sooner we wake up and realize that they are poisoning not just our bodies, but our minds, the better. I've been noticing that when I eat foods made with flour, I feel sluggish, sometimes constipated, and definitely bloated. Doesn't matter if it's whole grain, organic, all-natural, homemade, it makes me feel shitty. So! With the exception of a (few) bite(s) of the mini rhubarb pie (a homemade rhubarb pie filling in a ramekin with a crunchy crumbly oat/flour topping MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM), I'm currently about 4 or 5 days of gluten-free. I feel really good. Every time I go off gluten, I feel really good. I don't know if it's the fact that I'm actively avoiding something but I do feel better. 

SIDE NOTE: honestly, I think a really good tactic for dieting and maintaining a healthy diet to pick one or two things to avoid at all costs.  This was one of the reasons, in fact, I decided to give up all meat and eat dairy very occasionally. When you're constantly aware of not consuming something, you're aware of yourself (especially in terms of how you feel), and if you're constantly congratulating yourself on your success, it will promote a positive attitude and make it easier to make even more better choices.

And then it all cycles back. And when I do eat breads, pastas, etc., I feel crappy (PUN INTENDED!) both physically and mentally. I know it's not good for me but it's so delicious. Not to mention: it's everywhere.


I need to do more research on gluten and flour. Gluten is actually the protein in flour, and when it is cooked, the gluten is released. According to wikipedia, the amount of gluten that is considered harmless is "uncertain and controversial". Wow, sounds like a documentary in the works here, folks! 

I was telling one of my employees about how I'm going without flour and she said, God bless her, "Flour isn't bad for you........ right?" and God bless me, I didn't have an answer.

 

(not the best video ever, but she goes through a lot)

(also this picture is hilarious and I died laughing when it finally came onscreen)

Flour is not only in so many things, it's a product that (in almost all cases) has been completely stripped of nutrients. We all know this, or we should all know this. In fact it's so stripped and devoid of nutrients that in order to use it in foods or sell it, the government mandates that wheat flour be enriched with vitamins and minerals.... Just to make it REAL FOOD. 

I know I talk a lot about processed foods, but I think it's the most important thing to be aware of, hence my fuck-the-nutrition-label attitude. The ingredients are the things that are actually, and quite literally, poisoning us, not, per se, how much fat is in it. Look at my soy sauce that I have to use dead dinosaurs just to return to Hell's Handbasket, Wally World. This soy sauce not only does not contain soy, but it contains corn syrup. Why is corn syrup in something salty? You want to know why? In order for us to remain addicted to something, we must keep consuming it! (Take a look at this good versus evil..) UGGH.

I must say, though, that I'm thankful for people suffering from Celiac's. I'm not happy that they are, but I'm sure that not only most of the people who have Celiac's or a gluten sensitivity are making positive changes and learning about why their ass is exploding because of something so innocent and delicious-- flour-- and that is a powerful, powerful thing. Sometimes it's hard to tell whether a company is looking out for Celiac sufferers by labeling things as "gluten free" or simply trying to attain more customers because they know that so many consumers think that a gluten free lifestyle is healthy (and if you're making your own foods and watching how many fatty nut flours you're consuming, they're probably right). Take the brown sugar in my cupboard, labeled as "gluten free". Many products may come in contact with flour, dancing down conveyor belts, for example, while being processed. Now, a layperson might not know that, but still. 

Something that makes me feel better: we've already begun learning the language of health, we just need to learn how to use it to our advantage and keep peeling the layers off of the deceptions the food industry and the USDA (just looking at the homepage of SweetSurprise.com makes me want to DESTROY SOMETHING, SOMETHING THAT WILL SHATTER). We know about vitamins and antioxidants, but we need to learn that we shouldn't get them from crystal light packets (or the thing that made me tremble with anger--- the huge display of mini bottled energy shots that are clearly far from anything real that touted "antioxidants, vitamins, natural" on the label). 

Guess what, America? Our government, the faction that thinks we should all have guns, the one that thinks it's okay for us to take awful pharmaceuticals and doesn't force its doctors to learn about nutrition, IS MAKING US FAT. It isn't that we don't exercise (almost everyone is shocked to learn that my weight loss was mostly because of my eating habits, and I'm sure that how hardcore healthy I went --whole foods, clean foods-- helped it go even faster.) It's that the food we eat strips our bodies of nutrients, so that we're addicted to foods that don't give us the right kind of energy, and they tell us it's our fault because we don't exercise. Don't give in. Read the ingredients, know what you're buying. Make an effort to stop eating processed foods. I promise you, eating clean becomes a passion once you start feeling its effects. It will make you start to think of the world around you, and that, my friends, is a truly powerful thing.

So start cleaning out your pantry of high fructose corn syrup, yeast extracts (MSG), anything hydrolyzed, refined sugars, white flours, packages with unrecognizable ingredients. Yes, these are technically food ingredients that occur in nature to some degree. (I can hear people saying, "They exist, after all- it's in my hand!") But the sooner we all stop consuming these ingredients, the sooner we'll all feel better, and the sooner the food industry and the USDA and the FDA will see that they can't keep us in the dark about why we need so many medications, why we're dying young. Let's start saving ourselves-- we seem to forget we're the only ones who can.

VEGAN CHICKEN FRIED STEAK WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT

Look at this beauty! !!!!!

Seitan is a fake meat made with vital wheat gluten, which is the high-protein component of flour that is often added to breads to make them heartier. If you don't have a gluten intolerance or sensitivity, then lucky you-- this stuff is so simple to make and has a great meaty texture.


My recipe is almost exactly the one from theppk.com, the website/blog of vegan chef Isa Chandra Moskowitz, who is a great influence on many veg cooks. 

Knowing how to make seitan is a skill indeed. One should never buy anything when it's this easy!:
Homemade seitan

I always use this particular recipe and I usually let it cool for at least 4 hours before using it. It's never a bad idea to make up a batch and keep it in the fridge and pull it out to slice it, pan fry in a little olive oil, and toss with bbq sauce. Simple, delicious, and low-fat protein. Can you say guilt free?!! My biggest secret: leave your vwg in the fridge (the package usually indicates such, but we don't always listen to packages, so.....). Also, I wrote it, but remember to put the dry ingredients in the freezer while you assemble the wet, and put those in the fridge while you allow ample time for the seitan pieces to rest so the gluten can relax. And for the love of Buddha, don't boil your water.

*      *      *

Make Isa's mushroom gravy, (depending on how much gravy you'd like you might think about halving this recipe) which won't take long at all. I would recommend skipping the flour -I find it's too lumpy-- substitute it for 3 tablespoons cornstarch (arrowroot would probably work here too). You could make this while you make your seitan, easily, but just let the seitan cool for a bit before frying.

*      *      * 

You can make mashed potatoes or whatever you want. I always have brown rice handy so that's what I used. If rice gives you trouble, stop sobbing. Measure out your rice and water, add a little bit of olive oil, and a little salt if desired, and place on a medium to low boil. Stir whenever you want, as I said before. No one can stop you from stirring. (I think the rice companies and the pot companies are in cahoots...) When the water is three-quarters absorbed and the precious little grains are suspended in the water, turn off the flame and let it be. The rice will suck up the water and it should be perfectly cooked. If there is still some liquid you can put it back on a low flame and finish cooking, but this method almost always works. Amen.


No-brainer breading and frying your:  VEGAN CHICKEN-FRIED STEAK


Uh, I think you can figure out how to add the gravy and side dishes to your seitan steak. Revel in using a steak knife again! MMMMMMMM

but DON'T FORGET YER VEGGIES!! cheers!

PLAIN OL GRANOLA TIME!

I want to call this George Michael Granola because you gotta have FAITH! that it will turn out. I was a granola virgin and I was upset because I wanted plain ol' granola and every recipe online is the fruity nutty one (though those might be more appropriately named "George Michael Granola"...).

Bob's Red Mill is was my favorite. It's low-fat, not too sweet, and I could mix in whatever I want. Plus I like to snack on dry granola when I need to veg out, and sometimes I don't want all the extra delicious nutty fats.

You see, I'm one of those Do It Yourself-ers, and I think that when you're trying to maintain a balanced diet, fixing your own meals is not only the perfect way to know exactly what you're putting into your body, but by preparing your own nourishing meals, you're giving yourself attention that is probably much needed. That's one of the reasons I get upset (like I said, I HAVE PROBLEMS) with stuff like V8 Fruit Fusion or Instant Oatmeal with Flaxseed and Raisins. Of course, there are much worse ways to spend your breakfast calories, and oatmeal with flaxseed and raisins is a great breakfast. But why not wake up a few minutes earlier and prepare it yourself? I personally enjoy the ritual of adding seed and nuts and raisins and cinnamon and WHATEVER to my oatmeal / granola. But I digress! Not everyone is me, I must remind myself, and aren't we alllllllllllllllllllllll lucky that's the case!

MARJA'S PLAIN OL' GRANOLA

Preheat the oven to 300 degrees.

In bottom of medium to large bowl, whisk together 1/4 c. vegetable oil, 1/4 c. maple syrup and 1/4 c. honey (you could probably do all syrup or all honey, or sub the honey for brown sugar or try agave or whatever). I added a few pinches of cinnamon and a teaspoon of vanilla extract but that's up to you. I think next time I'll omit both and see how it is. I LIKE IT PLAIN, BABY!

Add 3 cups of old fashioned --not quick-cooking-- oats (you could definitely try adding more-- just make sure that they're all pretty well coated. This recipe turned out almost like candied granola... talk about a yuppie treat!). I used a salad fork to mix it all up. Put mixture on two baking sheets, spreading oats out so they bake evenly.

Bake, stirring 2-3 times, for 25-35 minutes or until all is golden brown. "But wait, Marja," you say, "the oats are all soft! I thought we were making granola!" We are, my child, for you must let them cool for 15 minutes and then scrape them from the pan. Voila! You will immediately need to eat granola and you will have it. Bob's Red Mill will no longer get my granola money! In fact, no one will get my granola money! 

I WILL KEEP MY GRANOLA MONEY

print this plain ol' granola

For a big batch (7 cups) of less crispy and less sweet, and therefore probably more healthy, granola, I make it like this:


Preheat oven to 300 degrees. Bake for 30 minutes.


1/2 c vegetable oil
1/2 c maple syrup
1/4 c honey
1/4 c brown sugar
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/4 t ground cinnamon


I whisked these in a metal bowl and set it right on the flame to melt the brown sugar. You can do it in a saucepan (or skip it entirely) if you don't feel like melting your plastic mixing bowls....

Using a spatula, toss 7 cups old fashioned oats into the syrup mixture. Turn, turn, and turn, taking care to coat each special little oat. 


These go on 4 baking sheets, and my oven is a little unbalanced (aren't we all?), so I set the timer for 15 minutes, rotating each pan (two on top, two on bottom) and stirring the oats. For the second round of 15 minutes (for a total of 30 mins), I took switched the top and bottom pans, stirring as needed.


The granola will be relatively crispy and will taste like normal granola but it will be much cheaper.

I HAVE PROBLEMS

I realized today as I was changing our sheets that as I was ordering from my meat vendor (remember, I own a restaurant), I was in fact ordering death to a number of animals. Things like this bother me. It's also been bothering me that though I'm very proud of the food we serve, the portions are often three times bigger than they need to be (causing my patrons to overeat), we season our food (salt), I make amazing desserts (sugar), and we butter our potatoes and deep fry some foods (fat). I know, I don't hold a gun to my customers' heads and most of the time they aren't even overweight. But still.. you can be any size and be unhealthy. Anyway!


My mother tried her best to shield my family from the SAD (standard American diet), and I commend her for doing so. We had a salad with every dinner, which were often low-fat meats and veggies, my parents bought good bread, reasonable cereals, pure maple syrup, peanut butter you have to stir. One of my favorite foods today is strawberry jam, an old-hat classic for most, but as a kid we had exotic preserves: raspberry, blackberry, heck, ginger jam. Seriously: I did not try Ranch dressing until I worked for the diner down the street, and the job, coupled with my now husband, then boyfriend's penchant for fast food, and my complete lack of self-control and knowledge of a balanced diet, my food addiction got kicked into high gear.

I am a salt addict. It's the fat in most salty things that's addictive, too, but salt, salt is just different. It has such powers to enhance flavors and make things palatable or unpalatable; it causes thirst; it's essential to the body (though most of us consume far more than we need). I love sugar, too, but salt, it gets me high. I started to really be able to gauge how full I was when I started cutting back and eliminating salt in my cooking and started actually tasting the food.

I think many of us start getting used to these flavors young. We taste salt and sugar and we want more. (Chef Ann Cooper in one of her TED Talks videos says something to the effect of, "We aren't born craving potato chips and ice cream.") Our own parents are addicted to these things, and along with them, we're addicted to flour, fat, etc.

I plan on raising my kids without animal proteins in their diets, but if I weren't planning on that, I would probably model their diets on the foods I ate growing up. The only problem for me was, I was already addicted to fast food. My mouth still salivates at the hamburger, fries, and chocolate shake from In & Out Burger we'd get maybe once or twice a month; or the chicken bowls from El Pollo Loco (the chicken and pinto beans were likely loaded with salt, and I loved to add lots of spicy salsa) I ate with fruit punch; or the Burger King kid's meals we'd eat on the road to my choir practice-- my mother still regrets these meals to this day, and to this day I remember that though choir became tedious, I always loved those meals. I got high.

For whatever reason, I don't see too many heavily obese people in the area I live and work. Most people are at least normal-sized, though admittedly that's a size 12-14. 15-30 extra pounds is a lot of excess weight to carry around all the time, and the thing is, though many people are well-intentioned, there are so many products that it is overtly confusing.

Not to mention we have so much information floating around, especially in this wonderful age of the internet. There are so many products right now that it actually enrages me to go to the grocery store. I want to cry to people when I see them mulling over soda pop, "No! The diet isn't better! Well, maybe it could be! You need water! Put a lemon in it! YOU'LL GET USED TO IT, FRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!"; I want to punch every single box of cookies, I want to shred those bags of chips, do a dance on them, pulverize them with my feet. Not only are we wasting so much energy and ingredients on food that is completely devoid of nutrients, we are mislead by those products that promise less fat but add more sugar or salt when us poor souls are merely trying to make a well-intentioned effort to be good to our bodies.


One of the things that enrages me the most: GUMMY VITAMINS. FOR ADULTS.

 My problem is not that adults are taking vitamins. We should be taking vitamins, especially when we need to supplement food items we aren't consuming. I happily eat 6 servings of veggies and fruits a day and I still take one. My problem is that we're making things too palatable and we're not encouraging the abundance of those necessary foods on our plates.


Another things that enrages me: WHAT WE'VE LEARNED IS WRONG


... and it's getting so hard to unlearn it. I was talking to my husband's wonderful parents about how I dream of bettering our children's ideas of food. His mom told me about how in the city they live, kids are cooked fresh lunches. Now, I didn't challenge this because I know she doesn't know the exact menu but when I got home I looked up a local school's meal plan. Here's a lunch taken directly from the school's lunch menu:


Hamburger on a Bun
Smiley Face Potatoes
Dill Pickle Chips
Diced Peaches
Chef’s Blend Lettuce/Grape Tomatoes




This doesn't seem that bad, does it? But let's think about the hamburger (I won't even discuss "pink slime" but if you want to read a little, be my guest!)-- it's processed and it's no doubt frozen. It's served on a bun made with sugar and processed flour, which by the way, we eat FAR too much of. (Why is everything gluten-free? Because we've overdone it so much that our bodies can't handle it anymore.) I don't even know what Smiley Face Potatoes are but I'm pretty sure they're heavily processed (skin removed, smile inserted, perhaps breaded lightly and fried), likely seasoned with salt. Hopefully baked and not fried on site; and since most kids love it, served with blood sugar-rollercoaster high fructose corn syrup-- I mean ketchup. Pickles are probably technically vegetables in this day and age, but we'll note their high salt content, the diced peaches are likely canned, which means more high fructose corn syrup and sugar, and thank god! some fresh lettuce and tomatoes that the kids, though I prefer to be optimistic, are likely picking at (but hey! I could be very possibly be wrong).


so we have:


Meat that is now pretty much defined as toxic ( click here for the LA Times article. This one goes along the same line: Harvard doctor on Red Meat Study) on a bun which I would say has very little fiber and will probably convert to sugar quite quickly in their little tummies, processed potatoes (is this is why kids look at cauliflower and think it's onions?), salty pickles (mmmm), peaches in so much unhealthy sugar it'll make them groggy, and lettuce with little grape tomatoes. Probably eaten with high-fat and high-sugar aaaaaaaaaaaand MSG-containing Ranch dressing. YIKES. At least these meals don't bribe you with cheap little toys made by children who don't get happy meals.



I have a dream, and that is to start / be a driving force of a program (there are lots of good ones out there, actually) for local kids so that they can start learning to cook food IN SCHOOL (and then share with their families), learn what food actually looks like and how it's cultivated, and how to build and maintain a balanced diet (have them keep activity and food journals, etc.). I would like to go from school to school and from grade to grade, keeping it as local and fresh as possible. I personally don't want to do this for all of Wisconsin or even all of the U.S.-- I want to do this for the county I live in. I would like to run not only this program, but I'd like a center that is accessible for everyone, where people can come in and learn about health and what constitutes nourishment, what can make life easier for them. I'd also like to found a community farm garden in which unemployed citizens or volunteers of the county can learn to farm the food that will be sold/donated. 

Until then, I am resolving to put together a pamphlet which I can hand out to people, containing fast, easy, filling recipes and some nutritional guidance. 






What's in that picture, Marja?, I hear you asking! Let me tell you!


QUINOA SALAD-- warm chickpeas and beets paired with a cool, lightly seasoned quinoa salad. YUUUUUUUUUUM

1. Cook the quinoa. You may cook it in advance and feel proud of yourself for doing so. 


Combine 1 c. quinoa (rinse if needed) with 2 c. h2o in small saucepan. Bring to a boil on medium heat and simmer until liquid is absorbed. NOTE: A lot of grains'll tell you not to stir while it's cooking. That is bullshit. You are allowed to stir whenever you want. I find it prevents the stuff from getting stuck on the bottom.


Let cooked quinoa cool. (If you ABSOLUTELY CANNOT WAIT, rinse it off in strainer with smaller-than-quinoa holes until it's cool. Drain.)


2. Add some yummy diced veggies and toss with quinoa.


I used shredded carrots, some thinly sliced red onion (rinse the onion off in cold water to get rid of a little of that sharp onioneyness), some diced Persian cucumber (English cucumber or plain ol' cucumber with seeds removed would work too), and some diced tomatoes. Toss it up, add 2+T olive oil, some salt and pepper, and BAM. Quinoa salad. I serve this over lettuce and add


CURRIED CHICKPEAS


Heat up a frying pan. Add a little olive oil and however many chickpeas you would like (I preferred canned to homemade beans in this instance but you could do whatever you want) and sprinkle on some curry powder. Be careful if the heat is up because these suckers will POP right into your beautiful open eyes. You could wear goggles or simply put a lid on it. I went so far as to warm my beets (which for some reason makes me blush) in a separate pan with a little bit of water in it, and the whole shebang was super satisfying. 




You could very well add more olive oil or some sort of dressing, but I find a meal like this sates me just fine, thankyouverymuch. It would benefit from some greek olives and pepperoncinis but that's up to you too. The quinoa salad itself lasts for at least a week and is a really good side dish because you can just take it out of the fridge and scoop it on a plate (or put it in a cup, put the cup over lettuce, and carefully nudge the cup off, like I did in the picture). I like to make things in advance because I tend to get famished out of nowhere.



Until next time, goodbye. May we be happy, may we be healthy, may we be peaceful, may we be safe.

OH MY GOD, I JUST REALIZED---- I'M NOT PERFECT!

Last weekend on a date with my husband, I was on my second double-vodkie-seltzer-with-lemon when out of the blue, I realized something that actually made me gasp. My husband choked on his coffee (yeah, he drinks coffee with dinner, and surprisingly, no-- he is not an octogenarian) and asked me what was wrong. I struggled to get the words out, awkwardly blurting:

I-, I'm-, I'm not perfect!


It was a big surprise to me. It occurred to me that before my weight gain, when I was still aware of myself, I was too aware. Nit-picking everything, I was my own three-way mirror. Take, for example, my chin, specifically my profile. I'd say I wish I had a picture of it, to show you, but I really don't. Growing up, I hated it. Hated, hated, hated. It's a weak chin-- the end of it goes directly to my neck, no prominence whatsoever, the dream of a long, swan-like neck impossible. Even as a kid, I knew it made me look weird, mongoloid, even. No boy could ever love me. 

And how sad is that, to focus so much energy on hating something you can't fix, or at least without a few thousand dollars and a dude in scrubs with a knife? Something that possibly no one ever actually notices? I mean, no one ever made fun of it, I was never teased or called No-Chin. But I couldn't stand it, and no matter how I tried, I couldn't wish or pray it away.


I've been enjoying all these freedoms that I never knew I could; freedom of the constant 3-way mirror, and except for weighing myself and analyzing my diet, freedom of constant judgements about myself. When I realized I wasn't perfect, I realized I don't need to be. I feel so good actually achieving what I can, why should I even let an aspect of my person, something in my DNA, bother me?

Once my mother smiled at me and said, "You have my chin!" not knowing how much I disliked it, and shamefully, in that moment,

I resented her for it. 

As a woman, I think there must be something very special to having a daughter; it's this person that you can mold and assist and cultivate, most especially because you can empathize specifically with her. As someone's child, I think if it's the best thing you do in life, you should be a better version of your parents. I love my parents, but I'm not going to raise my children the same way I was raised, and I don't expect my children to raise theirs the same way either. Your kids should be able to take from you a clearer vision of the world. After all, you're around them the most (hopefully), and you know them intimately (hopefully). 

Last night the hubby and I were talking about our kids (the ones we don't have yet, I mean), and I was saying something about having a daughter. My husband comes from a very good-looking family, and his sister's kids (two of them girls) are all adorable, strong, and intelligent. I said, "God, I just hope my daughter doesn't have my chin!" I hope my daughter, if I end up having one, is a better version of me. Or completely different version of me, the one I've only dreamed of being, say the cheerleader or the lawyer or the Best Knitter Ever. But I take it back. I hope she does have my chin, my mother's chin, her mother's chin, whoever-this-chin-belongs-to's chin. It's with me for a reason. We can never be perfect. And perfection doesn't sound fun anyway.

Easy Vegan Butternut Squash & Sweet Potato Soup

a pinch of what was fresh ginger, then grated and rolled like a super healthy tootsie roll and kept in my freezer looks like. Because who uses an entire root before it goes bad? (I RESPECT YOU IF YOU DOOOO)

 

it's cheating-- everything looks delicious when garnished with cinnamon sticks!!!

First and foremost, I feel the need to make a shout out to Vegan Lentil Soup from allrecipes.com (is it not one of the best sites ever??!), which inspired this considerably easier recipe. What I learned was, you don't need an immersion blender (it purees itself!)-- you just simmer it into OBLIVION! The squash and water alone create a wonderful base to which you can add savory (seriously, make that lentil soup!) or sweet (seriously, make this soup!) ingredients.

Soooooooooooooooooooooooooo every winter my wonderful restaurant gives a gallon of soup to The Peninsula School of Art of Door County. It's been clam chowder; a delicious concoction called "Country Black Bean" consisting of char-grilled pork chops, green pepper, corn, potatoes and black beans, and this year, my dear friends, I am honored to present you -and the people who attend the event- (vegan) (AND CREAMY!) Squash and Sweet Potato Bisque.

This is not an original (by which I mean: particularly creative) recipe. But it is SUPER EASY, and VEGAN! And hopefully it'll show up in a search engine (I can dream, can't I?)..

This recipe makes around 6-8 servings and takes around 90 minutes. 

You shall need:

- 2 medium butternut squash

-2 large sweet potatoes (shhhhh... you could use canned ones but they won't look anywhere as pretty and you'd better only use them if they're already in your cupboard)

- 1 can coconut milk (I used full-fat, but I don't want the meat-eaters to say it didn't hit the spot! You could probably sub lite coconut milk)

- 4-6 tablespoons Earth Balance (optional)
- 4-6 cups cold water

-ground or fresh ginger

- ground cinnamon

- a generous pinch kosher or sea salt

- crack black pepper

I used 2 medium-sized butternut squashes. Squashes? That seems wrong. Squash? (Like moose?!) It sounds brutal, but you're going to want to cut, gut, peel, and cube them. Please be careful. You could easily dismember yourself trying to trim a hearty squash of any kind; butternut is no exception. I used a serrated knife to cut, and chef's knife to chop/cube. Cut the squash, peel it (carefully-- they seem to relish flying gleefully into the trash can), and dice or cube into 1" chunks. We're looking for similar-sized pieces, as they will cook evenly. Whatever!

Once cubed, place in a 4-quart saucepan and pour enough cold water in pot to cover the pieces (I used 6 cups and it was just! enough, but more would have made for a watery bisque). Less is okay-- you can always add more. Put on medium heat and bring to a boil.

Once boiling, turn the heat down to low and and let it simmer away. It took my pot around 20 minutes to get to a boil, and after around 30 more minutes, it got all nice and mushy. I then added the coconut milk, and spices (see note) and let the mixture simmer for around 25 more minutes. 

When the squash was almost completely "pureed," I added my 2 peeled and diced sweet potatoes. They were al dente after around 10 minutes or so, but you can simmer then longer or shorter, depending on how big or small they are and done you want 'em.

AS FAR AS SEASONING GOES: You should really always season to taste until you know how you like things. This is a super subtle, but wonderfully satisfying soup. As I stated in the caption for the ginger, I grated and froze that shiznit, and what is pictured, I used twicefold. Fresh ginger would probably be a peeled ~1" chunk, grated, possibly less though!!. If you are using ground ginger, start with maybe a 1/2 tsp of ground ginger, and work in sprinkles from there. I did a sprinkle of cinnamon (maybe 1/4-1/2 t), a pretty healthy pinch of kosher salt (you'd be surprised at how much it needs it), and 1 healthy crack of black pepper. 

When the soup was done cooking, I folded in (or dunked in and kept stirring as the residual heat of the soup melted:) 4 tablespoons of Earth Balance, but you could use less, or none at all (or just garnish with a little slice of margarine and a drizzle of maple syrup or agave). Serve this with a nice leafy salad and some bread and call it a peasant's dinner. This soup also freezes quite nicely.

The Zen of Eating

My lovely mother sent me a book this week, so I am currently reading: The Zen of Eating. The author, Ronna Kabatznick, who was the psychological consultant to Weight Watchers International for a little less than a decade, explains the relationship we have with suffering (the Buddha defines suffering as "a ravenous appetite, not just for food, but for peace and security") and how to deal with it (not to ignore it, and not to let it take over) through the Buddha's Four Noble Truths, and the Eightfold Path. Oh, and yeah, how it applies to us and food. 

I will hopefully bring a little more wisdom to the blawg table as I read... I'm only about 60 pages in, but I can tell already that it's going to be a great resource for me as I lose a few more pounds and work on maintaining-- without feeling like I'm depriving myself, and without going crazy and starting to lose myself by giving in to the temptations. I'm realizing, AGAIN, (because I already was starting to realize when I re-introduced processed foods, sloppy portions, etc.) that what I need --and she emphasizes the importance-- is to be mindful of food. We're lucky enough in this country to have enough food that all the choices we have and its incredible speediness, convenience, etc.; well, it makes it so that many of us are not mindful when we eat, causing us to forget where it comes from, forget how many calories we do and don't need, prefer large portions of horrifically processed foods to reasonable portions of whole, clean, satisfying food.... When you take in the beauty of food, appreciate how it came to be, when you think as you're eating it how good it is for you and how it's going to nourish you, it's very empowering. 




In these past couple days, I've stopped snacking, which is incredibly hard. (I don't think there's anything wrong with snacking, but when you're trying to lose a few pounds and re-establish your relationship with food + how it satisfies you, mindlessly munching extra calories most definitely doesn't fit in.) I hope I can stay strong, I think I can. I tell myself, You can eat that, but it's not going to make you happy. Another point in the book is that suffering (or hunger) will come and go. Always. For as long as you're alive. You can eat that snack and feel full, and feel disappointed in yourself, or you can not eat it, and be satisfied in knowing that you're in control. You'll be full again soon anyway. Desires arise and they pass away. Watch as they rise, let them pass away. ZEN BABY!


I want to lose another 10-15 pounds in the next few months, before I go shopping for summer clothes (WHAT AN EXCITING THOUGHT HOLY CRAP!). Vanity pounds, really. I honestly feel like I look great in clothes, and I love it, but I figure I've come all this way and I want a lean, fit body, and when I wear a bathing suit this summer, I want to feel crazy good. So it's back to where I was when I started this blog, following my own rules and figuring out how to be zen, and it's so fitting that this book came into my hands, because I really needed it. I love you, Mommy!


Also: I'm resolving to cook and jar my own beans. Those BPA-lined cans are probably not great for me, and fresh beans taste better. Time to get out the crock pot and make a few batches of garbanzos and black beans! Hopefully another recipe coming. I'm still learning the basics of vegan cooking so I ain't got no flair yet... Cheers!

"What boundless joy, to know there is no true happiness." 

- old Buddhist monk dude

Fill 'er Up! (your kitchen, that is)

I'm not a doctor, a nutritionist, or even terribly smart, but I did manage to lose a bunch of weight on my own, following completely logical rules. I've found that I lose and gain weight quite easily, so I have to be pretty militant, and found that I'm happiest and healthiest when I'm really disciplined (small, frequent, low-fat, vegan meals and exercise at least 4x per week). When I start to re-incorporate processed foods and (more than occasional serving of) alcohol into my diet is when I start to actually get depressed and disappointed in myself. 

You may be different. You may be able to be less diligent with the same results. And good for you. But what I've found, and as I've stated before, a lot of this is about having the right state of mind. Right before I lost the first 15lbs was the worst for me; I was depressed and cranky and couldn't figure out what I wasn't doing. Truthfully, what I wasn't doing was: Giving it a million percent. When you're on this journey, you have to have faith in what you're doing, you have to believe that all your hard work is going to pay off. You have to work for it, you have to picture yourself the way you want to be. Know that what you're doing is going to prolong your life and make it that much better. Don't give up. And if you mess up, gain a little back, get right back on. Never beat yourself up for something when you can use that energy to do some thinking and damage control. Write it out, make up your own rules, and stick to them. It is hard going out, or rather not going out, or having friends see you as a bummer because you only drink seltzer with lime while they pound Jager shots. Whatever. The way I see it, good for them for getting life figured out! But really, people probably won't give you much crap after you lose 20+lbs. They'll be blown away by how fantastic you look!

STAPLES FOR EATING HEALTHY AND LOSING WEIGHT

These are some suggestions of what I like to have in my house. Buy everything as minimally processed as possible (easiest way to do this is to find the package with the fewest amount of ingredients, and of course, very few if any preservatives), buy in bulk as it cuts down on costs for you and for packaging, and local is always best, even better than organic, because why? It helps the farmers and growers in your area. And chances are the small farmers in your area aren’t flying helicopters full of Agent Orange through your area…. Let’s hope…

 Also: you can check back on my previous posts as far as my rules for dieting changing your lifestyle so that you actually enjoy getting up in the morning, putting on hot new duds (I LOVE catching guys checking me out, after 4 or so years of no attention, it's pretty saweeet), and taking on the day... but as I recall:

Drink a TON of water, and put lemon or lime slices in it (fresh berries are yummy too!).

Avoid processed foods like The Plague-- this means making most of your own meals and guess what? It means eating a TON of fresh vegetables. (Processed foods just have more stuff your body has a hard time digesting. They are addicting, too, which is why so many of us can't imagine life without them.) This includes having some sort of snack with you wherever you go; keep some nuts or trail mix in your car or backpack or purse, pick up an apple, whatever. Even the organic, "healthy" whatever options are still manufactured at a plant, they're in a bag, and you don't need them.

Portion/ satiation. Eat half of what you think you want, wait 15 minutes, and eat the rest, or eat something small, like an apple. For me, dieting is like quitting smoking. It's really tough the first few days, and I'm ready to kill someone, and my poor husband wants to watch Anthony Bordain and I'm like ARE YOU SERIOUS? I CAN'T WATCH A TWINKIE BE DEEP-FRIED! But give me a few days and then I'm zen, baby! See what works for you, but definitely be aware of slowing down, if not stopping, the second you feel a little satisfied. A portion may be too much for you of something, and if 4 ounces of meat seems small, it's because you need to load up on veggies and grains. (Note: If you're exercising hardcore, you're going to need quite a few more calories. Just make sure to make good choices.)

Exercise. Duh. You don't have to go crazy, but you should find that working out is something that calms you and is a de-stresser. If it's not, find something that is. This summer I walked the SHIT out of country roads, listening to Kanye West, it was the best. Walking is one of the best things you can do to your body, but I don't know if it's the same when you're in a stuffy gym? I'm a fan of work-out DVDs because I prefer to sweat in private, but if you look forward to doing something, you'll do it more often. And once you see the changes in your body, you'll be amazed at how much you rely on working out for peace of mind.

Journal. Keep a record of what you eat for awhile (every single bite or nibble), and see what changes you could make. I kept a journal and then I was like, Eff this, I'll just eat everything healthy all the time and I won't have to write it all down. That worked for me. I also weigh myself every morning and note my weight so I can see if I'm gaining or losing. If my weight changes I note the behavioral or dietary differences, or if I ate a late dinner the night before, or drank more caffeine than normal the day before. Like I said, militant, but it works... for me at least!

MOVING ON.... FILL 'er UP:

PANTRY

* = absolutely essential! 

Rolled oats / quick oats -- breakfast!

Flaxseeds Whole, ground fresh, are best, but a couple tablespoons in your morning oatmeal will nix the need for gross fish oil pills, because they're full of omega-3s. It’s also great to have on hand for vegan baking.

All- natural peanut butter * (or almond, whatever your preference)

Olive oil *

Vegetable oil *

Brown rice * They have brown basmati and jasmine and those are as fragrant as they are delicious!

 

Dried beans * (buy lentils, they're incredibly good for you, are satisfying, and don't require soaking. I like to have dried chickpeas on hand in case I need garbanzo flour)

Canned beans * (my favorites are black beans –which are the best for you—, chickpeas—

great for salads, and for making hummus or falafel— and pintos –great for tacos or with rice. Cannelli beans are white kidney beans and they’re good for blending into sauces and soups to make for a creamy consistency, and are great rinsed and cold, in salads.)

Canned beets I say, “A.H.S.R.O.Y.P.” Always have something red on your plate. A few cherry tomatoes, some canned beets. It cheers up your plate and for me, it usually reminds me that I need to eat more veggies.

Rice cakes (plain) The processed item I can’t live without… yet. Great for pb&j, especially if you can’t have flour.

Whole grain pasta

Quinoa * IS A POWERHOUSE of nutrients. It contains, in its little unassuming grains, every necessary amino acid. It is chockful of protein. I feel bad that it has to travel so far to get here, but it’s worth the guilt. This stuff rules.

Popping corn (2 T vegetable oil, ¼ c popping corn, a medium sized pan and you’re on your way to a healthy treat. We use I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter spray even though it’s AWFUL for you. Don’t go crazy with the popcorn salt though or you'll get all bloated.)

Raisins * (and other dried fruit, but raisins are the cheapest, usually. It wouldn’t be “Oatmeal with raisins” without these beauties. They’re great for when I don’t have any fresh fruit on hand. It’s the first thing I reach for when I need a little something to get me through staring at my husband’s junkfood while I’m ruminating about making something healthy and satisfying..)

Pasta Sauce

Salsa * (For eating on salads instead of dressing, or on top of eggs or in tacos, etc. Buy whatever your spice level preference.)

Tomato paste

Honey, agave, or maple syrup

Preserves

Low-fat granola for stirring into yogurt, or eating with milk, or making your own trail mix: a serving of granola (I love Bob’s Red Mill’s Low-Fat version), a serving of raisins, and if you feel it, a few nuts. So satisfying!

Almonds (raw and no skin for making milk, plain for snacking)

Cashews (raw, located at some supermarkets and health food stores)

In-shell nuts for mindless snacking –but try not to do that— I’m on a pistachio kick right now but peanuts do too. Make yourself do some work if you’re going to stare at the TV for 3 hours!

Pickles/Greek olives/ Pepperoncinis – I like to add chopped olives or pepperoncinis to salads, they add a little kick and I get my salty fix. Chopped olives are also great for putting on top of quinoa or whatever your grain instead of using table salt. They have a little bit of fat in them but they’re meaty and delicious. Whole baby dills are a great substitute for potato chips; when you need that salty crunch, they’re there for you, happy and willing to help!

Kosher salt and fresh black pepper Lez be adults everbody. Sea salt is better for you, but mos def the big granules require less salt for the same taste and a pepper grinder makes you look cool anyway.

‘FRIDGE

Almond milk * (make your own, dang it! It’s super easy. All you need is to soak some raw almonds overnight, drain ‘em the next day, blend with water, a little honey or maple syrup, strain through cheese cloth and you’re good!) I love a little almond milk with lunch or as a snack, a little creaminess that’s really satisfying.

if you buy Soy milk, make sure it’s organic, even though the term “organic” is quite quickly losing credibility…. Cow's milk is cruel to cows, it's not good for you, and can actually encourage osteoporosis! (Look it up!) Don't drink it. Soy has just as much calcium for no cholesterol, and seriously, no one's going to question the Chocolate Silk in yo' fridge. (The bottles of YooHoo, however? Wait, you drink yoohoo?) And really, they don't make vanilla flavored cow's milk! Vanilla soy or almond milk makes that healthy cereal just tolerable enough!

Fresh, local eggs Bring them to temperature by leaving them out for a bit. Boil up some water in a sauce pan, carefully put in eggs, boil for 9 minutes, and rinse under cold water to get the shells off easy. Perfect for a little protein on a salad, or as a snack. The terms "cage free" and "organic" are misleading and often the chickies are just as tortured. If you live anywhere, you should have access to local eggs. Figure it out.

Cheese if you MUST. BUT NO NO NO NO AMERICAN. Buy local, buy fresh. Use sparingly as a treat.

0% Fage Greek yogurt * This stuff is the BOMB. It’s like 23gr protein for like, no fat, and not too many calories. Warning: you have to be an adult when you eat it… it’s sour but it’s worth it because of its nutrient breakdown. I don’t eat the stuff too much anymore as I try to lean on the vegan side, but a little honey or agave, some of Bob’s Red Mill Low-Fat granola, and some berries, and I had enough energy to run to the moon. Don’t get suckered into the flavored kind; too many preservatives and really, when you’re making a life change like losing weight or eating healthy, give it 100% and make your taste buds change. I promise you, they will!

Soy sour cream A processed ingredient that I like to have on hand for blending with salsa and making a creamy vegan dressing. Mmmm! Also great for baked potatoes or low-fat vegan potato salad.

Tofu I go in phases of eating tofu. I much prefer my own, homemade seitan or bean-vital wheat gluten-sausage, but tofu is a great place to find protein. Try my vegan feta! Extra firm is great for sauteeing, silken is perfect for blending.

Tortillas They last a pretty long time and who doesn’t want tacos, like, anytime? Buy corn, it’s better for you, and you can bake some tortilla chips or have breakfast tacos or veggie tacos whenever you want!

Meat Don’t eat it. You don’t need it. It’s going to clog up your arteries and it’s hard on your body to digest. If you must, stick to lean cuts and eat only 4 oz portions, filling up your plate with veggies and maybe some whole grains. But try to avoid it— even before I decided to give up meat entirely, I would make it a game to see how many meals I could make that were vegan. I always felt insanely good after those meals!

Nutritional Yeast Seasoning Little cheese-y tasting flakes that are full of protein. It’s essential for making vegan cheese, and most seitan and veggie sausage recipes call for it. Still gotta try it on popcorn!

Speaking of making veggie sausages and seitan, you’d be lost without Vital Wheat Gluten, which can also be added to breads to make ‘em heartier.

Yeast, Whole wheat flour, and All-purpose (unbleached) Flour for making your own bread, if you’re so inclined.

Dried spices * My go-to favorites are cumin, thyme, dill, granulated garlic, oregano. Cinnamon, ginger, and curry powder have anti-inflammatory powers. The more you cook with any spices the more you see what you like.

Jarred minced garlic I’m one of those types that has a bulb of garlic that I never go to use until it’s already long gone. This stuff keeps forever, and a little goes a long way.

Veggie broth/ bouillon Necessary for seitan-making and hearty veggie soups. Get low-sodium ones though.

Tamari / soy sauce 

VEGETABLE CRISPER.. OR ON THE COUNTER, TO REMIND YOU TO EAT THEM!!:

Lettuce * I like red leaf a lot. It’s buttery-soft, it’s pretty, and it’s not too expensive. I don’t think it’s as good for you as, say, romaine, but if you load up your salad with other yummy veggies you should be okay. There are tons of other options, though, try 'em all!

Parsley / cilantro Nice to have on hand in case you want to make a little guacamole, great to add to soups and stews, or when you need to photograph a dish for your blog and the plate needs a little je ne sais quoi.

Celery Essential as a base for soups, I like to make rice dishes that start with sauteed onions and celery and beans and end with me eating them.

Avocados Go easy on ‘em, they’re loaded with fat, but when they’re cheap (in Wisconsin, at least) or when you need a little creamy fattiness on your salad or even a couple slices on the side of your rice and beans, they’ll satisfy you. And not just because they’re like the prettiest color ever.

Lemons A.H.L. ALWAYS HAVE LEMONS! When I was losing the bulk of my weight, I drank tons of water with lemon. As I mentioned in a previous blog, there’s some research touting how lemon oil can curb hunger pangs. Not to mention getting your vitamin C is always sexy!

Kale Can you say powerhouse? Kale is one of those things you will eat and poop and it will be the same. Which is gross, yeah, but can you imagine how wonderful it is for your insides? Like they’ve been gently loofah’d, probably!! (Wikipedia says that “Kale is very high in beta carotene, vitamin K, vitamin C, lutein, zeaxanthin, and reasonably rich in calcium. Kale, as with broccoli and other brassicas, contains sulforaphane (particularly when chopped or minced), a chemical with potent anti-cancer properties.^[1] Boiling decreases the level of sulforaphane; however, steaming, microwaving, or stir frying do not result in significant loss.^[2] Along with other brassica vegetables, kale is also a source of indole-3-carbinol, a chemical which boosts DNA repair in cells and appears to block the growth of cancer cells.^[3][4] Kale is also a good source of carotenoids.^[5]” Bam!)

I like to tear off the leaves into a bowl, pour a little olive oil on top, and massage the oil into the leaves. (It’s called “Massaging Your Kale” which is the least you can do for the kale considering how meekly it loofahs your bowels.) Soften some chopped onions in a pan with a little olive oil, throw in some sliced mushrooms, cook the kale to tender, and serve with some rice and a little extra protein. Kale is hearty as hell, so be prepared to cook it quite a few minutes longer than spinach or other pathetically weak greens.

Onions I couldn’t live without red onions for my salads or white (or yellow) onions for soups and sauteeing. A.H.O.

Carrots

Potatoes Carrots and baby red potatoes are great to have for soups, carrots are great for juicing and for snacking. Stick to potatoes you don’t have to peel, like a tender yukon or sweet potato, both great for roasting or baking, peels and outer skins of things tend to have all the nutrients you need in them.

Cucumbers Slice ‘em, put a little salt if you must, and call it a snack.

Squash I love spaghetti squash. It’s so easy to make and it really sates the need for pasta. Butternut squash makes a yummy soup, and it’s good for you as well. Acorn squash, baked, with a little margarine and brown sugar is delicious too!

Mushrooms

Cherry tomatoes

Zucchini Great for grilling or sauteeing, good for soups as well. I love some grilled zucchini with fresh lemon squeezed on it, super satisfying.

Peppers Great for grilling or sauteeing

Spinach Don’t give Dole your money! Buy a bunch, pick off the leaves from the stems, put the leaves in your salad spinner, fill your salad spinner up with cold water, and let them soak for a bit so that any grit will rinse clean off. What do you mean, you don’t have a salad spinner????

Corn (frozen)  Soups, baby!! or rinse the frost off for taco salads!

Spinach (frozen) Soups, spaghetti, etc.

Broccoli Eat it fresh or eat it steamed, either way, it’s super good for you!

Bananas I have to even out my carbon footprint from not eating meat by eating bananas. They’re creamy, and a peanut butter slathered rice cake, slices of banana and a touch of honey…. PERFECTION.

Strawberries / berries (fresh or frozen) Great for your morning oatmeal, or whatever.

Apples * I note that apples are a staple because they’re year-round.

There is so much good food out there waiting for you. Don't be afraid to experiment. Cheers!

WISH LIST

Olive oil

Vegetable oil

Rolled oats / quick oats

All- natural peanut butter

Rice cakes (plain)

Brown rice

Whole grain pasta

Quinoa

Dried beans

Canned beets

Popping corn

Raisins

Pasta Sauce

Salsa

Tomato paste

Honey or maple syrup

Preserves

Low-fat granola

Almonds

Cashews

In-shell nuts

Pickles/Greek olives/ Pepperoncinis

Almond milk

Soy milk

Fresh, local eggs

Cheese

0% Fage Greek yogurt

Soy sour cream

Tofu

Meat (don’t do it)

Lettuce

Veggie broth/ bouillon

Jarred minced garlic

Dried spices

Flour

All-purpose

Yeast, Whole wheat flour, Unbleached All-purpose flour

Vital Wheat Gluten

Nutritional Yeast Seasoning

Parsley

Celery

Avocados

Lemons

Kale

Carrots

Cucumbers

Mushrooms

Onions

Potatoes

Cherry tomatoes

Zucchini

Peppers

Corn (frozen)

Spinach

Spinach (frozen)

Broccoli

Bananas

Strawberries / berries (fresh or frozen)

Apples